I have heard a lot of different obstacles people face when they start to meditate, and I can definitely relate to all of them.
I'd like to focus here on debunking one of the most common.
It goes something to the tune of:
" I can't meditate because I can't calm my mind. I can't stop my thoughts."
Imbedded in this obstacle are several other inadvertent obstacles.
First and foremost, the premise is faulty: Despite a widespread belief in the contrary, the object of meditation is not to calm our minds and eliminate our thoughts.
I remember the day I discovered this. I had been meditating for about a year or so and found myself struggling with my "monkey mind" jumping from one branch to the next.
I was at a meditation center and asked one of the teachers about this.
He told me that quieting my mind was not what meditation was, but that it was about observing whatever was there; and then he gave me permission to have as many thoughts as I did and not to try to get rid of any of them.
What I began to see then, and continue to practice now, is how beautiful it is to let go.
Another way to look at this is akin to allowing yourself to move gently downstream a running brook. You don't want to fight the current and go upstream (ie fight the thoughts or emotions). Instead, you relax and float along in the direction of the current (the current is always being fueled by your breath, and no matter what is happening you can always shift your awareness back to your breath).
A few simple ways to start meditating:
1. Set your clock at work or home
2. Take 2 minutes in the morning before you start your day
and then 2 minutes in the evening before you go to bed
and just watch your breath
3. Allow whatever is there to be there
4. Just stay with the breath
This type of meditation is like having
bookends for your day.
5. Increase the amount of time spent in meditation as per your own discretion. No pressure to increase the time; just go with your intuition. It will feel easy and natural to increase the time.
I've been told that 20 minutes of meditation is like taking a 2-3 hour-long nap. That means you could add 730 - 1095 hours of rest to your life for a year for a mere 122 - 183 hours of actual time spent.
Now that's a deal people.
Finally, I will end on this note:
Of the many reported benefits of meditation, including decreased stress, decreased depression and anxiety, decreased hypertension, and more compassion, it seems fitting that we would have to work a little to get there.
Obstacles make us human. They are the jumping off point, not the end point.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
And into the ugly we go...
I read a while ago from a "Blog Expert" that you should never, ever, EVER begin a blog with the words,
"I know I haven't blogged in a while, but..."
So let's just say I read and understood that piece of advice.
Speaking of advice, the whole point of this blog is for me to listen to my own advice, my own best advice that is, document it, and follow it.
What has come to me lately (and the thing that I'm most interested in right now for my healing) is that I need to heal the places where I've still been holding back in life.
I'm noticing very subtle things, or really now that I'm noticing them they seem glaringly obvious...but nonetheless...I'm noticing things that I've previously thought not worthy of my attention, let's just say.
Now I've begun to really hone in on a few of these things that I do A LOT, and by A LOT I mean numerous times throughout the day.
Think of the suck of energy that is...
Yhuhhhh.
That is how it feels.
These are energetic states I go into due to some very limiting beliefs that I've still been hanging onto.
I could blog about the many very positive things in my life and the corresponding very positive beliefs that I hold, and yes, that has its place.
But, if I'm being honest...and why shouldn't I be?...then I have to look at this and be real about it.
I'm actually feeling that this is a real celebration.
Going from a place where I've been feeling like these damaging beliefs somehow don't matter, or that they are small and insignificant, to a place of truth and letting go is HUGE.
I must then ask myself,
Why now?
I feel I may know the answer.
I see that the effects of these beliefs are taking a toll on me.
So, what does this all mean?
The answer is simple.
It all comes down to trust.
It comes down to trusting the universe that ALL things are in the divine's control.
In each of these limiting circumstances, I am not trusting myself. I'm fearing that I, Melissa, must control the situation.
This is not the case.
Health comes from letting go and trusting...and knowing that it will be ok.
I am committed to that path always...and life will surely let us know when we need to re-evaluate our circumstances...and sometimes that makes us look deeply into some dark, dark places we don't like.
This is the very, very best thing that could be happening right now.
So, for that, I am grateful.
Till next time, Blog on!
"I know I haven't blogged in a while, but..."
So let's just say I read and understood that piece of advice.
Speaking of advice, the whole point of this blog is for me to listen to my own advice, my own best advice that is, document it, and follow it.
What has come to me lately (and the thing that I'm most interested in right now for my healing) is that I need to heal the places where I've still been holding back in life.
I'm noticing very subtle things, or really now that I'm noticing them they seem glaringly obvious...but nonetheless...I'm noticing things that I've previously thought not worthy of my attention, let's just say.
Now I've begun to really hone in on a few of these things that I do A LOT, and by A LOT I mean numerous times throughout the day.
Think of the suck of energy that is...
Yhuhhhh.
That is how it feels.
These are energetic states I go into due to some very limiting beliefs that I've still been hanging onto.
I could blog about the many very positive things in my life and the corresponding very positive beliefs that I hold, and yes, that has its place.
But, if I'm being honest...and why shouldn't I be?...then I have to look at this and be real about it.
I'm actually feeling that this is a real celebration.
Going from a place where I've been feeling like these damaging beliefs somehow don't matter, or that they are small and insignificant, to a place of truth and letting go is HUGE.
I must then ask myself,
Why now?
I feel I may know the answer.
I see that the effects of these beliefs are taking a toll on me.
So, what does this all mean?
The answer is simple.
It all comes down to trust.
It comes down to trusting the universe that ALL things are in the divine's control.
In each of these limiting circumstances, I am not trusting myself. I'm fearing that I, Melissa, must control the situation.
This is not the case.
Health comes from letting go and trusting...and knowing that it will be ok.
I am committed to that path always...and life will surely let us know when we need to re-evaluate our circumstances...and sometimes that makes us look deeply into some dark, dark places we don't like.
This is the very, very best thing that could be happening right now.
So, for that, I am grateful.
Till next time, Blog on!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Instincts and Stress
Letting stress dictate you is no way to live.
Lately I've been very guilty of this.
I will not continue that.
This is a very big, loud and clear message:
Come back to yourself.
No need to back peddle.
Listen.
And act accordingly.
Lately I've been very guilty of this.
I will not continue that.
This is a very big, loud and clear message:
Come back to yourself.
No need to back peddle.
Listen.
And act accordingly.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Today
So much is happening. Changing.
But it is always this way.
Why don't we always feel it, or grab it, or make something come alive with it?
I don't know.
I do know that today was different.
It takes guts to feel things you are scared to feel.
It takes guts to make a decision about something that is not guaranteed.
It takes guts to stand firm by your convictions even when you are confronted.
All of that happened to me today.
All I can say is that today was a very good day.
I was scared. I was elated. I was opened.
This blog post came out sort of prosey-poemy...well, that's just what happened to me today.
But it is always this way.
Why don't we always feel it, or grab it, or make something come alive with it?
I don't know.
I do know that today was different.
It takes guts to feel things you are scared to feel.
It takes guts to make a decision about something that is not guaranteed.
It takes guts to stand firm by your convictions even when you are confronted.
All of that happened to me today.
All I can say is that today was a very good day.
I was scared. I was elated. I was opened.
This blog post came out sort of prosey-poemy...well, that's just what happened to me today.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Buddhism and the Law of Attraction--can these 2 be friends????
I recently returned from my 3-day Vipassana meditation retreat. I went to the Kaufman, TX center, which is conveniently located 40 miles outside of Dallas. The last time I went to experience a Vipassana course was back in 2003, where I spent 10 days at a center in Massachusetts. I figured 3 days would be no big deal, and a nice chance to get some uninterrupted silence and inner focus.
So, Vipassana....for those of you who don't know much about it, is the technique that the Buddha himself used to become enlightened and then subsequently taught. It is very precise, and not fun by any stretch. However, it is something beyond fun; it is a meticulous process which leaves you with a deeper sense of equanimity. As you watch the breath as it moves in specific parts of your body, you become aware of your mind as it jumps from aversion to craving and back again. The watching and the attention to breath are what allow you to just see things as they are, not as things we either crave or desire (which the Buddha says are the sources of misery).
The schedule at any Vipassana center is very structured. Every hour of the day is accounted for, and you basically are meditating all day. You wake up at 4 am and by 4:30 you are meditating all the way till 9 pm with breaks for breakfast and lunch (no dinner for those who are not beginners; however, you get tea at 5 pm) and some short breaks during the day.
You are also observing silence as well, which I particularly enjoy. You are not even to look at people directly in the eyes or acknowledge people with nods or hellos or anything like that. The idea here is that these gestures are distractions that not only cost us energy, but ultimately take our focus away from ourselves.
This method of meditation is slightly different from what I practice on my own, but it is very similar. It is a lot more precise and requires more focus. It is good discipline, and I appreciate the opportunity to increase my ability to concentrate with the Vipassana techniques. In the end, I left feeling like I experienced a deeper level of healing, got some interesting insights and truths about who I am, and I sharpened my mind. All very good stuff.
The ten day course I took in '03 was something quite magical, however, and I truly felt like a new person at the end of it, but this 3-day course was just perfect for me now.
Here is one thought I've been mulling over since my visit there: How do Vipassana and the Law of Attraction (LOA) work together , or do they?
I know I'm not the only person to raise this question, as I googled it before starting to blog and found other writings on the topic (of which I read two).
I am pretty convinced that the Buddha would not be a proponent of LOA as a way to manifest things in our lives. However, I think there are several ways LOA could "work" within a Buddhist perspective, but it takes some creative melding to make that happen.
Number one, perhaps the most vivid illustration as to why he wouldn't be a fan is his life itself. His early life was one of absolute wealth and privilege, his every desire manifested. He eventually broke free of this life, as he saw it could not produce true peace and happiness. The Buddha taught that true happiness is contentment from within.
However, the idea that our unconscious and conscious minds are dictating our reality is an idea the Buddha could get behind. The Buddha had a different idea as to how to deal with the mind, but both teachings, I feel, support the notion that our beliefs dictate how we experience life.
There is one central place where I feel Buddhism, or any meditation practice, can support LOA: The unconscious mind. Bottom line: you have to contend with the unconscious mind in some way. Let's not forget, the unconscious mind has a lot of stuff in it; and some of that could very well be taking you off of your goals without you even knowing it. In Vipassana, even though Buddha didn't call it "the unconscious", he did know you had to address the subtleties of the mind by witnessing the breath. I feel in order for LOA principles to actually work in a positive way (and that is what most people are after, aren't they?), it is imperative to have a meditation practice of some sort in place which can address the unconscious mind. The Buddha taught that by being present inside the body and attuned to one's natural breath, we can address and heal very deep sources of pain. This being the same kind of pain which can sabotage our best-laid plans.
The Buddha also spoke about dispassion, which is the opposite of getting excited and desiring a result. I've heard different views from LOA folks on this piece of the puzzle, which I think happens to be the most critical and sometimes not-talked about issue. I believe it is a fundamental aspect of mastering the LOA in a favorable way. If you remember from The Secret, you were instructed to get really excited about the thing you want to manifest, and hold that energy in you, and believe you currently have that thing you want. I would argue that this is not really going to work in most cases. Others that write about LOA also support this idea. For example, in my reading of Abraham-Hicks, they do not seem to support this notion of excitement either, but instead, a calm knowing and firm faith. The idea is that you will attract whatever you have in your mind and simply to trust that feeling. When we are coming from a trusting, faithful place, we are naturally calm and dispassionate. Also, if we are in a calm knowing state, we naturally are not craving, or attached to, an outcome. All of these are Buddhist teachings.
Another similarity is in having a present-moment focus. The Buddha was a firm proponent of staying present, and the LOA teachings also remind us to stay present as well. Present-moment awareness is key to being in a flow and connected to source energy.
So, in the end, if we can be relaxed and calm about our goals, in addition of course to being focused and taking action steps, I believe LOA and Buddhist teachings can co-exist. However, it is very easy for us to move from this place of equanimity and faith into something more rushed and fear-based. This is where I personally benefit from meditation as a tool to get me back into alignment with my highest self. I am at peace with my goals and don't want to renounce them, but it is extremely helpful for me to remember this Buddhist perspective as I move forward.
Till next time.
So, Vipassana....for those of you who don't know much about it, is the technique that the Buddha himself used to become enlightened and then subsequently taught. It is very precise, and not fun by any stretch. However, it is something beyond fun; it is a meticulous process which leaves you with a deeper sense of equanimity. As you watch the breath as it moves in specific parts of your body, you become aware of your mind as it jumps from aversion to craving and back again. The watching and the attention to breath are what allow you to just see things as they are, not as things we either crave or desire (which the Buddha says are the sources of misery).
The schedule at any Vipassana center is very structured. Every hour of the day is accounted for, and you basically are meditating all day. You wake up at 4 am and by 4:30 you are meditating all the way till 9 pm with breaks for breakfast and lunch (no dinner for those who are not beginners; however, you get tea at 5 pm) and some short breaks during the day.
You are also observing silence as well, which I particularly enjoy. You are not even to look at people directly in the eyes or acknowledge people with nods or hellos or anything like that. The idea here is that these gestures are distractions that not only cost us energy, but ultimately take our focus away from ourselves.
This method of meditation is slightly different from what I practice on my own, but it is very similar. It is a lot more precise and requires more focus. It is good discipline, and I appreciate the opportunity to increase my ability to concentrate with the Vipassana techniques. In the end, I left feeling like I experienced a deeper level of healing, got some interesting insights and truths about who I am, and I sharpened my mind. All very good stuff.
The ten day course I took in '03 was something quite magical, however, and I truly felt like a new person at the end of it, but this 3-day course was just perfect for me now.
Here is one thought I've been mulling over since my visit there: How do Vipassana and the Law of Attraction (LOA) work together , or do they?
I know I'm not the only person to raise this question, as I googled it before starting to blog and found other writings on the topic (of which I read two).
I am pretty convinced that the Buddha would not be a proponent of LOA as a way to manifest things in our lives. However, I think there are several ways LOA could "work" within a Buddhist perspective, but it takes some creative melding to make that happen.
Number one, perhaps the most vivid illustration as to why he wouldn't be a fan is his life itself. His early life was one of absolute wealth and privilege, his every desire manifested. He eventually broke free of this life, as he saw it could not produce true peace and happiness. The Buddha taught that true happiness is contentment from within.
However, the idea that our unconscious and conscious minds are dictating our reality is an idea the Buddha could get behind. The Buddha had a different idea as to how to deal with the mind, but both teachings, I feel, support the notion that our beliefs dictate how we experience life.
There is one central place where I feel Buddhism, or any meditation practice, can support LOA: The unconscious mind. Bottom line: you have to contend with the unconscious mind in some way. Let's not forget, the unconscious mind has a lot of stuff in it; and some of that could very well be taking you off of your goals without you even knowing it. In Vipassana, even though Buddha didn't call it "the unconscious", he did know you had to address the subtleties of the mind by witnessing the breath. I feel in order for LOA principles to actually work in a positive way (and that is what most people are after, aren't they?), it is imperative to have a meditation practice of some sort in place which can address the unconscious mind. The Buddha taught that by being present inside the body and attuned to one's natural breath, we can address and heal very deep sources of pain. This being the same kind of pain which can sabotage our best-laid plans.
The Buddha also spoke about dispassion, which is the opposite of getting excited and desiring a result. I've heard different views from LOA folks on this piece of the puzzle, which I think happens to be the most critical and sometimes not-talked about issue. I believe it is a fundamental aspect of mastering the LOA in a favorable way. If you remember from The Secret, you were instructed to get really excited about the thing you want to manifest, and hold that energy in you, and believe you currently have that thing you want. I would argue that this is not really going to work in most cases. Others that write about LOA also support this idea. For example, in my reading of Abraham-Hicks, they do not seem to support this notion of excitement either, but instead, a calm knowing and firm faith. The idea is that you will attract whatever you have in your mind and simply to trust that feeling. When we are coming from a trusting, faithful place, we are naturally calm and dispassionate. Also, if we are in a calm knowing state, we naturally are not craving, or attached to, an outcome. All of these are Buddhist teachings.
Another similarity is in having a present-moment focus. The Buddha was a firm proponent of staying present, and the LOA teachings also remind us to stay present as well. Present-moment awareness is key to being in a flow and connected to source energy.
So, in the end, if we can be relaxed and calm about our goals, in addition of course to being focused and taking action steps, I believe LOA and Buddhist teachings can co-exist. However, it is very easy for us to move from this place of equanimity and faith into something more rushed and fear-based. This is where I personally benefit from meditation as a tool to get me back into alignment with my highest self. I am at peace with my goals and don't want to renounce them, but it is extremely helpful for me to remember this Buddhist perspective as I move forward.
Till next time.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Law of Attraction Revisited
Since my last post, I have gone deeper into Law of Attraction practices. I have followed these teachings for a while, but this week I seem to have gone into a deeper place. I also picked up Jerry and Esther Hicks' The Law of Attraction as a companion.
In reading it, I got inspired to dust off my vision board from a couple of years ago! It now is out and about in the apartment. What a powerful shift--from staying in the closet to being prominently around in my home.
Still contemplating and receiving information on what the next phase of the business will be. Many thoughts...all just circulating around. Nothing concrete as of yet. Just letting the process guide me.
I also started back on some art making, which felt great.
This week I also submitted an article on art therapy for a book which will be published soon.
It is somewhat interesting to note the shift back towards art and writing right now...
Will be going to yoga later.
Looking forward to a great weekend!
Onward and upward!
In reading it, I got inspired to dust off my vision board from a couple of years ago! It now is out and about in the apartment. What a powerful shift--from staying in the closet to being prominently around in my home.
Still contemplating and receiving information on what the next phase of the business will be. Many thoughts...all just circulating around. Nothing concrete as of yet. Just letting the process guide me.
I also started back on some art making, which felt great.
This week I also submitted an article on art therapy for a book which will be published soon.
It is somewhat interesting to note the shift back towards art and writing right now...
Will be going to yoga later.
Looking forward to a great weekend!
Onward and upward!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Weekend Update
What a crazy weekend. In the end, an important weekend.
Crazy because now the business is in a totally different place. Sarah and I are not going to be partners after all, but she will be a consultant. That is a huge change. This was actually due to my bringing it up, but both she and I agreed that this is for the best. She and I are just at very different places in our lives, and the amount of time needed for this is just too big. I'm glad this is happening now and not later. Nothing is wasted. I will be forever grateful for all the input she has given and all the ways the business has grown and gotten stronger.
The question now is how will the business take shape? How will it play out? I have no clue. I have some thoughts and ideas, but really I'm in a holding pattern. I really don't know at all. This is a time that is requiring all of my faith. I am just certain that the right course will present itself to me. I just have to be patient. To be in the unknown with arms wide open is, of course, always challenging. I will just do the best I can.
I also had the honor and privilege of speaking to my mentor, Mary, today. I don't talk to her very much. I will talk to her maybe a few times a year. I try to be respectful and not call her a bunch, but whenever I do speak to her it is usually very important. She and I had been playing phone tag from a call I made to her about 2 weeks ago. We ended up speaking today. I asked her my question from 2 weeks ago, and I didn't exactly get the answer I was hoping to get. She reminded me of a few things which I will need to make sure I have under control (liability issues). Something which came to me after our call ended was that I wish Mary's wisdom was known to more people. I don't always see it her way, but I value her tremendously. She is very private and her work is only given to a certain amount of people. She wants it this way. She designs it this way. She has her reasons for doing it this way, and I respect all of that.
I also encountered a person from my past (about 15 years ago) who tried to engage in old drama, which of course I don't need. I realized over the weekend how grateful I am that I have some great friends and good people in my life. I don't allow people to treat me badly, so whenever someone comes back in and does something weird, I usually nip it really quickly because it's just not something I have in my life. I'm truly lucky and blessed. I have goodness around me. These things help me put boundaries down when needed. I only want people in my life that treat me well and love me; that's all that really anyone wants.
I also witnessed some bad behavior this weekend too, which was just another added element to my own situation. I won't say too much here, but just that a friend (not a close friend but still a friend) is being treated badly by her boyfriend. She deserves so much better and is minimizing his emotional and verbal abuse. I am doing what I can...it's a delicate situation.
Well, change is in the air. I need to embrace it all. See where the chips fall. However, I still need to keep my head up and pointed in the direction of my goals. That I believe will be key: to be open yet intentioned. We'll see what happens.
Oh, and one funny part to end on...cuz this is just too good: Daniel went to a restuarant/ bar in Virgina Beach today called The Jewish Mother. When I told my mom, she was tickled. I thought that was cute. He said it's like a cross between a Jewish deli and House of Rock. Awesomeness.
Till next time.
Crazy because now the business is in a totally different place. Sarah and I are not going to be partners after all, but she will be a consultant. That is a huge change. This was actually due to my bringing it up, but both she and I agreed that this is for the best. She and I are just at very different places in our lives, and the amount of time needed for this is just too big. I'm glad this is happening now and not later. Nothing is wasted. I will be forever grateful for all the input she has given and all the ways the business has grown and gotten stronger.
The question now is how will the business take shape? How will it play out? I have no clue. I have some thoughts and ideas, but really I'm in a holding pattern. I really don't know at all. This is a time that is requiring all of my faith. I am just certain that the right course will present itself to me. I just have to be patient. To be in the unknown with arms wide open is, of course, always challenging. I will just do the best I can.
I also had the honor and privilege of speaking to my mentor, Mary, today. I don't talk to her very much. I will talk to her maybe a few times a year. I try to be respectful and not call her a bunch, but whenever I do speak to her it is usually very important. She and I had been playing phone tag from a call I made to her about 2 weeks ago. We ended up speaking today. I asked her my question from 2 weeks ago, and I didn't exactly get the answer I was hoping to get. She reminded me of a few things which I will need to make sure I have under control (liability issues). Something which came to me after our call ended was that I wish Mary's wisdom was known to more people. I don't always see it her way, but I value her tremendously. She is very private and her work is only given to a certain amount of people. She wants it this way. She designs it this way. She has her reasons for doing it this way, and I respect all of that.
I also encountered a person from my past (about 15 years ago) who tried to engage in old drama, which of course I don't need. I realized over the weekend how grateful I am that I have some great friends and good people in my life. I don't allow people to treat me badly, so whenever someone comes back in and does something weird, I usually nip it really quickly because it's just not something I have in my life. I'm truly lucky and blessed. I have goodness around me. These things help me put boundaries down when needed. I only want people in my life that treat me well and love me; that's all that really anyone wants.
I also witnessed some bad behavior this weekend too, which was just another added element to my own situation. I won't say too much here, but just that a friend (not a close friend but still a friend) is being treated badly by her boyfriend. She deserves so much better and is minimizing his emotional and verbal abuse. I am doing what I can...it's a delicate situation.
Well, change is in the air. I need to embrace it all. See where the chips fall. However, I still need to keep my head up and pointed in the direction of my goals. That I believe will be key: to be open yet intentioned. We'll see what happens.
Oh, and one funny part to end on...cuz this is just too good: Daniel went to a restuarant/ bar in Virgina Beach today called The Jewish Mother. When I told my mom, she was tickled. I thought that was cute. He said it's like a cross between a Jewish deli and House of Rock. Awesomeness.
Till next time.
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