Here comes a very honest moment.

I knew when I undertook this blog there would be times when the advice spoken in hushed murmurs in my most quiet times would not necessarily jive so well with my egoic self. You know, that self that wants to run as far from that voice and avert the truth and be in denial sometimes? You know, that self that wants this blog just to be pretty and polished and not at all exposing of who I am at a given moment. Ya, that's the one.

Herein lies this very honest moment.

Lately I've been getting the very real sense in meditation that I'm doing something akin to "one step forward/ two steps back" when it comes to my health and wellness.

What's been happening is this: I take what I consider to be pretty good care of myself during the week. I am mindful of what I eat most of the time and I have a very regular yoga and meditation practice. I feel great overall. Then....dun-de-dun-dun-dun....the weekend rolls around and I "give myself permission" to be a little naughty in not caring too much about what I eat. I have equated "permission" with "fun" and I seem to abandon most of all my weekly practices. I'm not saying that I'm just this crazy-eating-machine or something, but I just make poorer choices in what I select. It's worth noting that I have been very moderate in my drinking during the weekend, though, so it really is not about the alcohol, but mainly the food.

I have been operating under this sort of "80/20" philosophy which basically says that as long as I'm eating well 80% of the time, the other 20% don't matter so much. I have nothing against this philosophy, but there is a very real downside to it which is where I find myself exploring right now. If 80% is the goal, you're only going to arrive at 80%. I know that when I was in school, 80% was really pretty mediocre. Do I want to live at 80%, especially when 5 days out of the week I feel close to 100%? Why blow it all on the weekend?

It's fine to enjoy rich foods and enjoy foods you know you can't eat every day. I am very ok with that. I actually feel it is very healthy to allow yourself to do that from time to time and in moderation. What I'm not ok with is the lack of mindfulness that sometimes goes along with this.

Basically, I need to reign it in some...that's the message. I will feel better and really that is the bottom line. I know what to do. Again, it's just about mindfulness and listening. It's not to say I can't eat any of "that food" over the weekend, it's just about listening to my body and trusting that, like everything else, the right choice is there for me in every moment. I just have to pay attention and act accordingly.

That just feels right.

So, that is the message. That is my own best advice: heard in silence and written today on this blog.

Now, the fun part: practice!

I will keep you updated.

Till next time.